Lacrymosa
by xxfireyrainrayxx
Summary: A songfic on Kanna Sakyonosuke . Song: Lacrymosa by Evanescence. There are some slight grammar mistakes. Rated T just to be safe .Read and Review!


**Lacrymosa**

A Bakumatsu-Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto song fic about Kanna Sakyonosuke

Song: **Lacrymosa by Evanescence ****  
**

~Author's Note at the end~

**Lacrymosa by xxfireyrainrayxx**

~~~ I'm so very sorry. Sorry that I never had the strength to do what my heart knew was right. Kanna, please forgive me. Please… my child. This pain lashes into my heart as I watch you run desperately run to be at my side. I cry out your name and struggle but I was too weak, Kanna. Sorry, I have abandoned you. KANNA!!!!! These tears won't stop and even after you pursued no longer and I stare out long after your image fades away. I wasn't strong enough for you. I failed you…. No!!!! ~~~

_Out on your own,  
Cold and alone again.  
Can this be what you really wanted, baby?  
_

NO!!!!

_Blame it on me,  
Set your guilt free.  
Nothing can hold you back now._

My eyes gazed out blankly into the depths of the ocean as I stood aboard the ship. My lips are dry and I lick them. How wonderful would it be to be embraced by those waves? I wanted to be held so wholly by them that I would feel the clear crystalline ripples wash into me, filling the deep void within my body.

With two fingers of my gloved hand I gently traced over my eye patch with a touch that seemed almost affectionate. The brilliance of the sun peaked out from behind the clouds splashing the water with a few bright rays that lit the cerulean up like the world's most precious gem. I lost myself in its luminosity as my other senses captured the salty taste and the soft sounds that encompassed me so thoroughly. Soon I pulled myself out as I larger breath of wind released itself upon me. My hair swayed as a boots near me alerted my senses.

I reminded myself of my duty. I must be vigilant at all times. I reached into my pocket and felt the object that I keep closest to my heart. My familiarity with my weapons is second to this treasure. I brought it out like I had on many occasions. Upon opening it, I saw your picture. _Mother…_

_Now that you're gone,  
I feel like myself again.  
Grieving the things I can't repair and willing...  
_

I feel that sharp acidity in my heart every time I see your face. That smile frozen upon a sheet of paper, forever preserved. Strange I don't know what it is. Mother. I don't understand. Why, mother? I hear a commotion and I put you away and all emotion recedes. Why do I feel nothing now?

_To let you blame it on me,  
And set your guilt free.  
I don't want to hold you back now love.  
_

It was entirely my fault, mother. I have never deserved your love because I wasn't there to protect you and now I witness it again. Again I see you cling to another. There was chaos everywhere and water sprays into the air but somehow I see you with Akizuki Yojiro, holding on to him as he protects you. At the same time I see you then, being held as I chase after the carriage tearing you from me. I can feel pain heat my eye beneath my eye patch. Mother… I want to be the one you hold; one that protects you.

_I can't change who I am.  
Not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me.  
And in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up.  
My love wasn't enough._

What have I done?NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Mother!!! NO! I scream to the heavens. I have killed you… AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…. No no no… I hover over you no…no… mother! mother!!!!.... I'm so sorry. For the first time. I could feel. My heart exploded, over loaded with pain. Tears poured from my eyes but as look up. I see you. Glorious as you emerge from the lights of heaven. I..I have killed you!!! Those eyes stared at me. Calm and beautiful. How could I have ever!!! I couldn't feel anything but all I knew was what I wanted when I raised my gun to my head. Ready, to repent for the sin I have committed. But you stopped me. Mother…

_And you can blame it on me,  
Just set your guilt free, honey.  
I don't want to hold you back now love._

I gazed at you upon the stage but my ears hear nothing. I couldn't feel anything but within I could feel you. Your love flowed within my so warm and comforting. The pure white energy of it poured into my soul. It was something I had never felt in my life; your affection. It lifted me up and beyond. Incredible. Drifting in peace I see your face and you smile down at me. Mother… I smile too. I have finally protected you. We are together at last…

~The End~

Author's Note:

I love Kanna!!! He's my fav. character in the series. I was really upset that he didn't play a bigger role and I almost cried when he died!! He shouldn't have!!! I like him b/c of his coldness and at the same time his pain and gentleness. He's still a child ^^.

For this songfic. I actually decided not to make it lengthy and dive in too deeply into the character but take a slightly more objective stance. I was going to go deeper but I decided that the audience of the series can extract meaning/emotions by themselves.

I at one point I really thought and wanted him to end up with Kakunojo but as it turns out she reminds him of his mother. But I really do think I would be a gorgeous knight to some other anime character :P I might even write a short fic with him and an original character. ^^


End file.
